Missions Accomplished!
U.R. Sane
“We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study, too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.” –Karl Rove*
“Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.” George Orwell
My Dear Partap
H
ow have you been keeping there in that pithole of the American wasteland, dishing out greasy fries to desis too bored to cook a good Hindutva meal at home for their loved ones? I hear your son has finally mastered Hanuman Chalisa and recites it backwards, eyes open? How many Mann ki Baath can he remember backwards? Good job Partap! A leader in the making, ya?!
Just wanted to abreast you of developments in this Bharat, no, maha-Bharat soon-to-be Akhand Bhaarat. I must tell you that Mikal, you remember that friend of ours from college? I met him at the local chai shop the other day and he asked, after spotting me in my khaki shorts: “How now Khandar Bharat?” broke out in a snigger; I was not amused, no I wasn’t and have decided to break of all rishtas with him though I will remember those sausages his wife served up, when we was young! Anyway, you will be glad to know that at this very moment, well actually a couple of days ago, history was just made…yes, manufactured by the none other than our most awesome leader, who singlehandedly, with a stroke of his pen, veered that spoilt and truant ‘child’ Kashmir into the benevolent arms of Bharat Mata. Not before time Article 370 was confirmed as abolished by the Supreme Court putting an end to that ‘special status’ it enjoyed under that weakling’ chacha’ and his dynasts that tip toed the issue unable or unwilling to make up the minds, just letting our brave soldiers die under pelting stones. Wham! Way to go! What an inspiring photo of our Leader, no Big Brother actually, in his Bharatiya dress, source of inspiration for the soldier by his side. Bravest Leader of all times! Sit in a Tejas jet with just a helmet and Gucci sunshades! Not like that Bush with his Mission Accomplished ! In army fatigues. Hah! And it wasn’t even accomplished! And here!! Done and dusted, as the philosopher says. The victories in the heartland of Bharat the MaRajU states was nothing short of the work of the Vishwaguru; steering the Hindu heartland, which is Bharat-away from the squabbling politics of bickering cats!
Partap, just before that momentous assertion by the subjects of this expanding empire who were glad to welcome the site and look forward to sending our oligarchs to develop its resources, , we got evidence of that expansion by the apex court endorsing Article 370. Not before time I say! For decades that state has been pampered by the cabal of the Nehrus much against the wishes of that Iron Man whose statue you can see looming over the coast of Gujarat. Had it been for Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel to swing things, as we say in English, there would have been no 370, nor the attendant trauma for the Pandits there who yearn to be part of the maha-Bharat. With one twitch of the finger, Done and dusted!
Now my dear fellow, the target is for that part of the state occupied illegally by our devilish neighbours. That too shall happen; if Kashmir is now ours, if Ayodhya was –claimed by that other great leader Yogi busy with re-colonising his state from a millienia of slavish rule and beef, then why not even Afghanistan? Ha! Ha!
All this on the heels of of spectacular shows of power and strength by Vishwaguru. You would know the glittering neon-lights of G20 that drew Bharat onto the world stage, adorning it with the awesome responsibility of shaping the world’s future by addressing its present calamities. The glamorous show at Delhi with the dancing girls and traditional Hindu welcome stupefied world leaders ignorant of our civilisation’s scientific temper and rich bhajans…they knew they were at the right place to learn the right solutions to their nightmares. They would drink from the best font in world…all thanks to the divine guiding of the Vishwaguru.
What about his work on this continent you might ask? Well, read the right papers and you get the answers but I’ll contextualise them…that’s my forte right? Over the years he and his trusted lieutenant with the help of those useful idiots have corralled the enforcement branches of the government to get cracking against corrupt Opposition members. It’s funny but the most corrupt ones think that by throwing stones at the Vishwaguru they can earn the respect and awe of the subjects. No! Honesty works; their crimes of the misuse of power have to be paid for and the law enforcement agencies are now alive and earning their living.
The other arms of government…the ECI knows the elections have to be run wisely; the best man must win; the judiciary knows the government knows best and its willingness to follow the destinies being charted by the VG; India is a Hindu nation, the nation needs muscle; so Article 370 goes and VG can decide the shape and political identity of the States The media too knows this; that’s why the morning papers are full of ringing. applause; some who think they are too smart and can get away by pelting stones, will pay the price for their stupidity. You know why? They are corrupt and the law is on to them. Big Brother is watching!
Partap you should be here to witness history! The great Henry Ford, philosopher of the modern age and inventor of wheels, famously said “History in bunk. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker’s dam is the history we make today.“ Who cares for history when you can manufacture it? That is what our leader is dong. Mint fresh history!!
I cannot help gaze into the future; I see it ever rosier as Bharat turns saatwik and Hindutva as it was a thousand years ago; a pure race of worshippers; pliant subjects bowing t the benevolent power of their leader, the Brahmin sage, an Opposition ready to clap and help along this Akhand Bharat on its road to lost greatness. All peace and quiet except for the ringing of the bells in the ultra-modern temples with five star accommodation for the besotted foreigners.
That would be the legacy of the Vishwaguru. Nehru left behind a misfunctioning anarchy. VG in less than ten years is manufacturing a future that works! A Centralised state, a quiescent Opposition , wise nd free voters with free rations and pockets full of ambitions to become oligarchs.
So that’s the legacy for next year’s road show, the Union elections. Now here’s the thing Partap. The subjects, those starry-eyed worshippers of the accomplished spectacle, those slovenly creatures with free food ration ad those 1 crore job seekers with appointment letters blessed by the VG’s hands, will ring him in. But I am a philosopher basically Partap so what if they don’t. What if that raggedy coalition of losers wins? Well, think of it this way. Impossible! But this is possible. So will that mean the end of the Vishwaguru?! No! The ecstasy of his Influencingership will drench the new order to follow suit! They will have the gains of his strategies to create a new form of government based on Centralised brute power and that understanding that Consensus NOT the Constitution is the highest road to Democracy! NO namby-pamby whiners! Put your shoulders to the wheel and pull along!
So as they say divine power never fades. The VG’s power will shine ever more through the actions and vigor of his ‘students’ who will pick up his playbook and read avariciously as they follow in his footsteps.
But Partap, my dear friend. I must admit to a cold shiver trickling down my spine! Will they have learnt the lessons from the playbook too well? Will they be tempted to turn the law onto the corrupt from the new Opposition? What will the ‘godi’ media do; who will be the ‘godi’ media?
And what about those hungry eyes now stepping out from behind the billboards with their fading pint trumpeting the G20, hands no longer clutching job appointments or a grain rice…the wretched salt of the earth?
Will history be re-manufactured as the wheels of fortune turn?
Turn! Turn! Turn! To everything, there is a Season!
Ishwar-Allah thro nam! The hungry eyes will sing
Partap, I can hear my stomach rumbling! Or is it the earth??
*****
-U.R. Sane is a retired acoustical engineer who served in the railways for thirty years but his heart lay elsewhere. He took voluntary retirement and has been travelling around the country listening to conversations in tea stalls, bars, brothels on river banks. He plans to write a book of those conversations as one long sentence without full stops hoping to weave a tapestry of public dissent, disobedience and debate.
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