How Many Rains must fall Before the Stains are Washed Clean. Imran Qureshi. 2013
Gandhi’s Statue
Ashgar Wajahat
(Translated by Alok Bhalla)
1
When the man fired at Gandhiji’s statue, he thought he was only destroying a statue. He didn’t realise that he had shot Gandhiji himself.
Gandhiji emerged from behind the statue.
The man exclaimed, ‘How fortunate. I’ve shot Gandhi again. But what’ll I do next year when I’ve to shoot at Gandhi’s statue again? Will Gandhi emerge from behind it again?’
Gandhiji said, ‘Don’t worry. If you fire at Gandhi’s statue next year, I’ll emerge from behind it again.’
2
When Gandhiji’s statue was shot and blood began to flow, Colonel Dyer arrived. Ecstatic, he said to the man who had fired the shot, ‘Well done!…You’ve done what the British Empire couldn’t. We’re very grateful. Let us know if we can do anything for you.’
Uddham Singh was standing behind Dyer, but no one saw him.
3
The man who fired at Gandhiji’s statue thought that his performance should look more authentic. History tells us that when Gandhiji was shot, he said, ‘Hey Ram.’ So, the man hired an actor to say, ‘Hey Ram’ when the bullet hits Gandhi’s statue. The actor agreed to say, ‘Hey Ram.’
The moment the man fired a shots at Gandhi’s statue, blood began to flow, but the actor forgot to say, ‘Hey Ram.’ He could only stutter, “Hai…Hai!’
4
When Gandhiji’s statue was shot and it fell to the ground, it revealed hundreds of corpses behind it.
Investigation showed that they were the corpses of the peasants of Champaran.
5
When Gandhiji’s statue was shot, a voice from heaven declared, ‘Foolish man, why shoot at a statue? Why not fire at Gandhiji’s soul?’
The assassin asked, ‘What’s a soul?’
The voice from heaven replied, ‘Every human being has a soul. Look within yourselves and search.’
The assassin replied, ‘I’ve looked within myself for a hundred years and not found it.’
6
The men who used to fire shots at Gandhi’s statue were frustrated. How long can we continue to shoot at Gandhi’s statue, they wondered? Why not kill those who have acted as Gandhi in films and plays based on his life? Well, they caught everyone who had ever acted as Gandhi.
They declared, ‘We are going to shoot you for having acted as Gandhi.’
The actors replied, ‘Alright. But the one who shoots us will have to act as Godse…Will you hang him?’
7
In the beginning no news channel had the courage to announce that someone had shot at Gandhi’s statue. When a journalist finally raised the issue, the owner of the TV channel replied that the bottom of his chair had fallen out. He meant it quite literally. There was hole in the chair’s seat.
The owner said to the journalist, ‘If you look through the hole you’ll see your future.’
When the journalist looked through the hole, he really did see his future.
The owner of the channel added, ‘Now, if you want to discuss the matter further, go to heaven and interview Gandhi.’
The journalist went to heaven to meet Gandhiji who was sitting at his spinning wheel.
The journalist asked Gandhiji, ‘Your statue has been shot. What do you think about it?’
Gandhiji replied, ‘I think it is good.’
The journalist asked, ‘Why do you think it is good?’
Gandhiji replied, ‘I think it is good because, the first time they had shot an unarmed man. Now they have shot a statue. They have proved that they ‘ll never try to kill a man who is armed.’
8
A journalist in heaven informed Gandhiji that the people who had killed regarded him as their enemy.
Gandhiji replied, ‘Why is that surprising?’
The journalist asked, ‘What do you think about that Gandhiji.’
Gandhiji replied, ‘I think it is good.’
The journalist asked, ‘Why?’
Gandhiji replied, ‘Because the British also regarded me as their enemy…My enemies have now found a friend.’
9
Someone asked the man who was shooting at Gandhiji’s statue, ‘Why are you shooting at the statue of a man who is already dead?’
The man replied, ‘That’s a misconception.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Gandhi was shot, but he didn’t die.’
‘How can you say that?’
‘It’s the truth.’
‘So, what’ll you do now?’
‘I kill him every year, but he doesn’t die. I’ll shoot him again next year.’
10
The sculptor had worked hard to carve Gandhiji’s statue. After completing it, he placed a pair of spectacles on his eyes.
His assassins were agitated.
‘Take off the spectacles’ the assasins at the sculptor. ‘Gandhi cannot wear spectacles.’
The sculptor replied, ‘But he did wear spectacles.’
The assassins said, ‘Yes, and that was the worst thing about him.’
The sculptor asked, ‘Why? His spectacles made him see things clearly.’
The assassins replied, ‘Precisely. We don’t want his statue to see clearly. Give them to us. They need some more work.’
The sculptor asked, ‘What work?’
The assassins replied, ‘We need to grind them.’
***
The Story of Two. Imran Qureshi. 2013
Dagger
Afzal Ahmed Syed
(Translated by Alok Bhalla)
Your name is carved
on one side of the dagger’s blade
my name is carved on the other.
Those who can read
tell us
that we shall be murdered.
A man who plants a tree
gives us an apple
we cut it in half
with the dagger.
We live without asking
for anyone’s permission
and fall in love
without telling anyone.
I know how to count
and remember how many steps
I had to climb to reach you.
Some day you will gather
all these steps
in a book of poems
and gift it to me.
Someday I shall tell you
the sea begins when
we can no longer see
the desert.
Then we can tear a page
from the book of poems
when we want
and make a boat
and tear another page
to make the sea.
Then we can stop
the rotation of the earth
when we want
and dance.
It is difficult to
stab the heart
of a dancing man.
*******
Ashgar Wajahat is a fiction writer, novelist, playwright, an independent documentary filmmaker and a television scriptwriter, most known for his work, 'Saat Aasmaan' and his acclaimed play, 'Jis Lahore Nai Dekhya, O Jamyai Nai', based on the story of an old Punjabi Hindu woman who gets left behind in Lahore, after Partition and then refuses to leave. He has published five collections of short stories, six collections of plays and street plays, and four novels.
Notes Imran Qureshi images courtesy: https://naturemorte.com/artists/imranqureshi/
Afzal Ahmed Syed, born in 1946 is a leading contemporary Urdu poet well known for his experimental style of writing. He has published three collections of free verse and prose poems and one of ghazals. In 2010, the Wesleyan University Press, USA, published a selection of his poems, Rococo and Other Worlds, translated by Musharraf Ali Farooqi. In India, translations of his poetry have been published in Hindi in 1992 and in Bengali in 2010. He frequently translates from English and Persian. His translation of the complete Persian works of Mir Taqi Mir was published by Oxford University Press under the title Divan-e-Mir Farsi Maa Urdu Tarjuma.
Alok Bhalla is at present, a visiting professor of English at Jamia Millia Islamia. He is the author of Stories About the Partition of India (3 Vols.). He has also translated Dharamvir Bharati’s Andha Yug, Intizar Husain’s A Chronicle of the Peacocks (both from OUP) and Ram Kumar’s The Sea and Other Stories into English.
Alok Bhalla in The Beacon A Prayer For My Daughters: Alok Bhalla WHEN KABIR SAW, HE WEPT… Ahimsa in the City of the Mind: Language, Identity-Politics and Partitions Stand by Me: Song of a Farmer The Self As Stranger I Am A Hindu
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